Children can add a definite cute factor when it comes to filling important roles in a wedding. Whether it’s the flower girl walking down the aisle throwing flower petals from her basket, or the ring bearer balancing his little ring pillow, allowing kids to be part of the ceremony helps contribute to the feel of such a special day.
For those thinking about offering special wedding roles to younger participants, here are some helpful tips from New Jersey wedding experts on how to help prepare the flower girl and ring bearer.
More from Best of NJ
The Invitation
After the bride-to-be has gotten permission from a child’s parents, she can formally invite the flower girl or ring bearer to be part of the wedding. According to Donna DeFrancesco of Majestic Moments Event Planning, she can start the process with a handwritten card and a little gift. Once the gift has been opened, the soon-to-be-bride can talk one-on-one with the child. “She can explain to them the important job they are going to have in the wedding. An added bonus is that they get to dress up and come down the aisle before the bride. When the bride explains that this is such a big deal, the children really get excited about it.” Brides should keep in mind that children under the age of 2 tend to be more temperamental, while those ages 4-6 can be more compliant.
The Input
You can make your little guy or gal feel extra special by letting them have some input on their role. Allow flower girls to choose between holding a traditional basket with petals, a ribboned flower ball, or a floral purse. Ask if she’d like to hold a sign that says “Here Comes Your Bride” and wear a mini veil. For ring bearers, they can decide if they want to hold the mini pillow. (Remind them that they will not be holding the real wedding bands, for that is the Best Man’s job.) According to DeFrancesco, a newer idea for the ring bearer is to have them dress up like a security guard holding a special box, wearing sunglasses and a little sign that says “Ring Security.” Younger children may enjoy getting pulled down the aisle in a beautifully decorated wagon by one of the bridesmaids.
If the flower girl or ring bearer can be a bit anxious around crowds, but really want to be in the wedding, perhaps they don’t have to walk alone; ask if they’d be more comfortable walking together down the aisle, of if they could be paired with a close family member that is part of the wedding party. Keep in mind that pretty much anything goes in today’s weddings.
The Prep Work
Adults can take some steps to help children be their best for the long wedding day ahead. First off, parents should make sure kids get a good night’s sleep beforehand, followed by a healthy breakfast. Another good idea from Abby Ayeh is for the bride to have a spare fancy outfit, in case of spills during snack time. The parents of younger flower girls and ring bearers should also bring favorite toys to hold their attention during the ceremony.
The Practice
It is important for kids to practice before the big day. According to Abby Ayeh of Pretty Posh Events, when the ring bearer and flower girl practice they become more at ease. They can start two weeks before walking with a basket or the ring pillow. It is important for them to be at the rehearsal, or at least practice the day of. “When they see the wedding party around them, they process their role. The boy or girl can become familiar with the setting, where they will be sitting, where they are going, who they are walking with, and so on.”
The Aftermath
After the children have made it through the ceremony and pictures, they can have some fun during the reception courtesy of Kimberly Martir of My Fair Nanny LLC. “My certified wedding nannies can come to the hotel where the guests are staying or we can set up a kids’ table in the bridal suite. We have cared for kids from six weeks to the age of 14.”
Kids receive little bags filled with personalized activity books, little plastic engagement rings, and other goodies. (They even get to use a disposable camera on a wedding scavenger hunt.) There are also arts and crafts, books, and toys. If they get sleepy, kids can slip out of their stuffy outfits and relax in their comfy pajamas with a movie shown on a DVD player or iPad. The nanny will make sure the kids are fed, get potty breaks, and if they wish, are brought back to the reception to party a bit with the adults after all of the dances, toasts, speeches, tosses, and cake cutting.
Hero (Top) Feature Image: © / Dollar Photo Club
