Long gone are the days of scripted wedding ceremonies. Today, more and more couples are opting to write their own vows. “Vows are the most important part of the ceremony because it’s the one part where you get to declare your feelings,” says Charanna Alexander, founder of Love Ink, a special occasion writing company in Fort Lee. “Traditionally vows are pre-written, but in the last five years, it’s become a big trend for people to customize that message.”
If you’re not sure where to start, Alexander suggests you stop making excuses before you even begin. “The number one thing I hear is, ‘I’m not a writer,’” she says. “That’s not a valid excuse. If you feel it and can speak about it, you can write about it. It really is that easy.”
If putting pen to paper still sounds daunting, rest assured you’ve got help. “A lot of couples need help navigating their emotions and that’s where I come in,” says Alexander. “I help them tap into their emotions to create works from their hearts.”
Here are her top 5 tips to channel your inner wordsmith:
[bibblio style=”bib–default bib–hover bib–white-label bib–row-2 bib–title-only bib–size-16 bib–font-arial” query_string_params=”e30=” recommendation_type=”optimised”]
Get a Head Start: “A lot of anxiety from writing your vows starts with people starting the day before the wedding or trying to scribble it that morning. The pressure you feel by limiting the amount of time you have to work on it is immeasurable. So start early.”
Recite a Quote: “I always tell people to use music or movies as inspiration. If you and your partner have a favorite line from a movie or a favorite song, use that. You really don’t have to start from scratch.”
Practice Makes Perfect: “Definitely take the opportunity to practice. I always recommend to my clients that the wedding should not be the first time you say your vows.”
A Friend In Need: “Use your friends. Bounce ideas off of them or share some thoughts about what you are thinking about saying. Wedding vows tend to have this cloud over them where people are either super excited about writing them or really nervous. Bringing a friend in can really lighten the mood.”
Stay True to Yourself: “Your wedding vows should definitely be representative of who you are. Do not try to sound like Romeo and Juliet. Do not try to sound Elizabethan. If you’re a fun-loving, goofy couple, your wedding vows should be fun-loving and goofy. That is not the time to try to portray yourself as someone else.”
Hero (Top) Feature Image (and Additional Images): © Iris Mannings Photography
